The Controversial Decision I Made In January – Part 1 of NCOL

Good morning!

Let me tell you, these past 3 months have been quite the character-building time for me.  And now, finally, after it appears I've turned the corner back to recovery and healing, I've decided to let y'all know the inside story.

Hope you're sitting down!

And that you have some delightful coffee by your side.

Let's dim the lights, bring on the memory music, and let me take you back to…..

The beginning on 2011.

It was then that….

Wait a sec.

Methinks it would be helpful if I gave some background details, eh?  🙂

Well then!  Long long ago, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and the only Java to be found resided in coffee containers (ie, the past 5 years or so), I began a *huge* new change of life.

From that point until now, I:

• Lost 50+ pounds
• Earned a black belt in goju-ryu karate
• Was able to arm-curl 40 pounds
• Taught myself tons about healthy living without sacrifice

And it was good.

It was very good, actually.

My gosh, it was godlike!

Back 'around 2008 or so, I was in the best shape of my life – I could run, jog, weight lift, karate-ize, and all of those excellent fun thingees.

I gave myself permission to recognize quite how tremendous a person I am!

Things body-wise were really fantastic.

And then 2009 happened.

That was when my left ankle started to break down. 

It turns out that I have no cartilage in that particularly lovely joint.

Which meant, my ability to walk without pain would go decrease.  It would decrease, actually, to the point where I have to get my ankle fused if I want to continue walking.

Now, these things happen.  So I dealt with it, modified my exercising, and continued with life.  I'd have good days, I'd have bad days, but overall, things went along happily indeed.  'Matter of fact, I had a good period that was long enough to have earned my black belt in May 2010!

But, just like if you ignore the tides, they still encroach upon the beach, my ankle kept degrading.

And I was forced to realize that almost 100%…no matter what I do in regards to that, it ain't a-gonna change!

Major bummer, this realization was. 

See, picture if you would, the following. 

When I was in my 0-20s, my self-confidence was almost as huge as a squashed amoeba. 

I really *had* no self-confidence back then.  It was only after my late 20s that the greatness within me finally began to show….and that took at least 15+ years to fully develop.

Finally, I had become the woman I was always meant to be!

Finally, I gave myself permission to embrace all that was not only on the inside of me, but the outside as well.

And then WHAM!

Fate threw me the curve ball of watching myself degrade.

It was character-building indeed, let me tell you that!

Which brings me to the beginning of January, when I had that rather fateful conversation with a friend.

A friend who is my age.

And one who chose to do something I never would even begin to consider.

Until….that conversation.

It changed my life….

Continued tomorrow on Part II!

Grow strong,

Barbara Ling