Don’t waste your love on people who don’t appreciate it

Over the past couple of months, I’ve dealt with several clients who have expressed to me all about their love for people who don’t appreciate them.

And in every single instance, I always ask:

What does this person give TO your life that makes them worthy OF your love?

Bizarre people that we are, often we cannot choose whom to love – it just hits us with the force of a Mack Truck driven by Speed Racer on steroids. And when it’s returned, it’s great…but when it’s not appreciated, all you’re doing is give give giving…with very little in return.

And eventually, that’s just plain stupid.

Ideally, one’s self-defense mechanism should kick in; if you’re in a relationship where you’re being taken for granted, you SHOULD be able to say to yourself:

"Jeepers self, I AM worth MORE than this."

But that doesn’t always seem to happen.

I asked a friend of mine recently – when will you stop bashing your head against a brickwall because it feels so good when you stop?  Because that’s what giving TOO much really is…you’re GOLD, but you’re letting yourself be treated like you’re dust.

And that’s just not right either.

Even worse is when the situation degenerates into actual abuse, be that physical, emotional, spiritual etc.  

And for the people stuck in such situations, their self-worth and self-confidence drains down into bare, well, mush…and an inability to accept the greatness that they naturally have.

I firmly believe that everything in our lives happen because of a reason….that our guardian angel wants us to internalize something truly precious about ourselves.  And sometimes, we can only give ourselves permission to say YES! We ARE great! when we finally hit rock bottom…and there’s no where to go but up.

Some useful resources for recognizing and getting out of an abusive relationship include:

• Ending an abusive relationship
• Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
• In Defense of Abused Men
• Domestic Violence Against Men
• Domestic Violence.org

In closing, what you have to offer ANYONE is precious beyond belief.  Don’t short-change yourself by giving that to someone who doesn’t value it like the gift it is.

Enjoy,

Barbara Ling