Morning,
I’m on one of the best mailing lists around for self defense, sharing life’s experiences and the like. That, and Nicky510, are a great way to start every morning!
Yesterday, the following came across my radar, and it hits home so perfectly… I was compelled to ask the author for permission to repost.
This article deals about the essence of anger. I hope it touches you as it did me…and that you share it with folks who need to read the words as well.
And here we go:
…Hey y’all, come down to the den, we need to talk 🙂
As the former King of Chateau Bow Wow (ie, being in the dog house), I can understand how do you feel about that. I’ve called a "broken arrow" several times, but my freinds rallied behind me and guided me to the right path…they did everything they could to accomodate me and help me see the light.
I would like to share some of my personal experiences. I went to VA for help, and at the hospital I had several sessions with a Major D, a psychologist. He’s a vetearan of Gulf war and Iraq war.
He’s good….he helped me to understand what life is all about "choices", and yes sometimes the choices we make, they’re NOT what the "normal" people would have chosen.
See, the thing was…we got negative feedback from family, friends, and health professionals. But we usually resisted. "What do you mean to move on, how could I when she did that to me? Don’t tell me to ease up!!"
- We felt that it is in our right right to be what we wanted to be.
- We get and instant gratification for our action the we regrets later.
- Often we hurt ourselves by doing what we’ve been doing.
Yes, we got the adrenaline high for acting like an angry man, the rush, the freedom of being alone.
But all that feeling will run out of course….and we will back to square one. We are what we choose to be. Its all about "me" and "I".
Just remember my friend, if you are angry more than five minutes, in any situations, you are an angry man.
The more you think about what makes you angry, the angrier you get.
It’s that simple.
People like me and maybe you and I hope I’m the only one on this list, often says or does things and regrets them later. Why? because people like me, make two mistakes:
- First, I says and do things the first things comes into my mind. My anger control my mind and as always the result isn’t pretty.
- The second mistake is that I convinced myself that what other person did is terrible, howrrible, awful, he/she did wrong and I’m right. I have the right to fight my "right" Sound familiar?
These are the words that stick in my brain and I would love to keep it as long as I live.
"You, and only you can do something to quit being so angry. Not your lover. Not your friends, Not your ex-wife, Teachers, Boss, Mother and Father, Siblings or the guy sitting next to you on the subway. YOU."
We must always deal with negative thoughts pronto. Its hard to be positive when we are living in the environment that always dictated or makes a big deals or rewards on negative things. But we must, we must think, do, and says positive things. Not for everyone but for the betterment of ourselves.
We must changes how we reacted to this negative’s invitation. Be a lover instead of fighter. Even kiels is te objective, whisper instead of shout and most of all, be a listener instead of preacher.
We must control our body’s reaction to problems. We don’t know the different between a small problem and huge problems. Your body language will tell everyone how you feel about certain things, most of the time, you did not realize it.
Last but not least, We must bury our mean spirit :"to get back to the people that does this things to us."
Let it go.
Its going to be a long road a head, at least for me, but the only alternative is to stay this way I’m now…Angry all the time.
I don’t know about you, but my first reaction to reading this was….wow.
Please do share it with those who need to read it as well. And if you’re looking for anger-management resources, check out:
- Anger Management In The Workplace
- Controlling Anger — Before It Controls You
- Decoding Anger – Anger Management Series Part I to 6 (really good!)
- Keeping Your Cool: The Strategies and Benefits of Anger Management
- Mental Health: Managing Anger
- Understanding Anger (Part 1 of 2)
- Why So Angry
Enjoy,
Barbara LIng
ps – speaking about anger management, have you seen:
Get Started Here
You’ll love what you learn… Promise!