Death is kinda sorta final, do you realize that?

Morning all,

My postings this week will be rather sporadic, as there has been a death on my husband's side of the family.

But like everything that happens to me these days, lessons abound and smack me upside the head to the point that I realize:

Jeepers, I should really share these insights!

So here goes.

Dying….sucks.

Unless, of course, you've been in pain for days or  weeks or months prior.

There's two critical aspects of death, you know.  There's the view of the dying individual, who, after enduring big huge heaping amounts of pain, might say, alrighty now, methinks I've enjoyed this sensation of my last gasp long enough, it's time to see what's on the other side of the veil!

And then there's the emotionally-laden reactions of those who are left.

How will they choose to handle death?

Will they grieve that the person is no longer of this earth?

Or will they set aside their own feelings enough and rejoice that the pain has finally stopped for the person they love?

I've been to funerals where the wailing and gnashing of teeth seem to be, honestly, quite selfish.  Yes, we all feel loss when our loved ones die.

But I personally feel we should also be big enough to sacrifice our own heartfelt feelings of pain….to simply feel relief the suffering is no more.

Let me tell you, being the non-stop 158% cheerful person who manages to keep spirits aloft while avoiding family conflicts – it's more tiring than scaling Mt. Everest wearing sandals and a thong.  Balancing the human need to grieve and the human need to let things go and (for me, the most important!) the human need of keeping my immediate family sane and safe…wow. 

Give me virtual coachizing any day!

But the main point I want to bring up is the following.

Death is kinda sorta really final, you know?

You simply cannot send a fax into the afterworld and say, Ummm, friend, I really regretted the way I treated you 3.9 years ago and want to say, I'm sorry, you know?

Nor can you tell your dead parents or dead relatives or dead whatevers how much you loved them or how much you valued them or how grateful you were because they were in your lives.

Because they're dead, you know?

So, I'll close with this particular idea.

Live life with no regrets.

If you have had a falling-out with your family, make peace with yourself and try to mend it to the best of your abilities.  If it's not accepted, that's besides the point – at least you know in your heart that you did the very best you were capable of doing.

Because….you never know if tomorrow they'll be hit by a bus or become diagnosed with terminal cancer or die in some horrific accident or…you get my point, right?

Life….can stop in an instant. 

And if you still have unresolved baggage or issues or what have you…it would truly be a shame that you didn't take the chance that today affords you….to make things better.

It might not be accepted.

It might be laughed at or scorned.

But then again…you might be mending bridges that were meant to be fixed long ago.  And even better…when it's *not* too late to do so.

What do you think?

Grow strong,

Barbara Ling